Ramblings of a Hormonal Woman...

I am so excited, tomorrow I am getting my brand spanking new washer and dryer delivered... Yes, I am officially old because I am so happy! Johnny and I got up and went to Lowes and I looked around, pointed to the ones I wanted and told them...Deliver Those To My House...OR ELSE. woo hoo! I don't think I have ever purchased a brand new appliance in my life, is that sad or what? Actually, I just kept telling myself that used was fine, but I am so sick and tired of replacing items that I said enough is enough...no scratch and dent, no estate sale... no just like new... I want to be the first and only one to wash my chonies and dry them in these machines! I seriously feel like I have won the lotto, and if you wanna come by to see my new digital front loading machines... COME ON...

I had a really rough week this last week at work, I swear I am going through menopause... and it was a short work week... ugh... I should have known, I had a warning first thing Tuesday morning... I have been having a serious battle with the coke machine at work... it hates me, and I hate it....SERIOUSLY, that fricken machine is going to make me have a stroke. It started like this, I went to get my daily Coke Zero...my FAVORITE soda, and I always push the button a million times... and ...luck of luck, i got two instead of one... so the next day i tried it again, and it did it again... and so the love affair began, my two for the price of one sodas. But then one day, as i was sitting in my co-workers office...i started listening to the commotion outside her windows at my scrumptious coke machine... apparently, it had done the ultimate... taken my friend Eddies dollar and did not deliver the goods, so I listened as he drew a little crowd trying to help him beat his soda out of the machine...and I laughed...and it must have heard me, and felt completely betrayed.... so the next morning, guess who's dollar got taken, yup, mine... and i was so hurt..i felt, i don't know...violated? but i forgave it, considering it had been so generous to me before...then it took another dollar, and i was angry... so i stayed way and bought my soda elsewhere, and i guess the hurt wore off and i tried again... AND AGAIN it took my dollar... a total of 5 dollars later i swore to NEVER use that damned moody machine again... and i didn't, until this week...when i was walking in and saw someone putting quarters in and getting a Coke Zero... so i thought, that's it...it wants coins not bills!!! so here i go all happy with my four quarters (one good thing about not having a washer and dryer...plenty of change in my purse), I put my quarters in and that damn machine would give me my soda, not even a regular one!!! So there i was screaming at the machine...when i heard it...yup, my coworkers laughing, from the same window i had laughed from... so..i shot them the international peace sign, and vowed once again to NEVER use that damn machine again.... I hope.

Falling off the wagon...

I should be going to bed right now, should be... but here I sit... I went to help at the Church Festival and spent most of the night taste testing... So, I decided, anything you eat standing up has absolutely no calories, and if you eat it AND drink a diet coke, it's actually healthy for you. Does doing laundrey count as a cardio workout? ugh... I am in serious trouble.... But tomorow, or should i say today, is another day, and I vow to eat better...or at least remember to wash it down with a diet coke...

Faith

How do you know that you have faith? When pretty bad things happen that should completely paralyze you, and they don’t…because you know that your Jesus is bigger than all of that. How do you know that Jesus is there, because an overwhelming sense of calmness holds you still, holds you up…and wraps around you. God will continue to reveal places that he feels you need to give a little ‘attention’ to, through trials, chaos, hardships…but amidst all of those he remains…ALWAYS, by your side, guiding you, holding you and wrapping you in his never ending love.

Don’t ever take the things of this world for granted, in a moment, what you think your life is can be changed. By a phone call, a wrong turn, a bad choice a spoken word… So be careful, that the things you encounter in life are not things that you could have prevented, make choices that make God smile, do things knowing he is watching you and with you, don’t live in a way that would make you ashamed to have him at your side…because he goes with us everywhere, sees everything and knows all… There is no fooling him.

Sometimes I look back on things I have done, or said, even caused and I am so very ashamed and embarrassed that my heavenly Father was a witness to it. But the reality is, that he was, and he wept…and he cried…and he hurt… all because of me. Yet he remained there waiting, for me to turn back to him, his arms always open, his love as strong as ever…

I am a sinner, I sin every day of my life, in my thoughts, in my words and sometimes even in my actions….but I KNOW that I am a sinner and I try so hard to be all that my Jesus would want me to be. I try even more now than ever to live right knowing that to my son…I AM JESUS, he is watching me, wanting to be more like me…I have to try to be someone that I would want him to be… just like Jesus. I know I can’t be perfect, no one but HIM can be, but I can try my best to be better….

So I try every day to live better so that at the end of the day, when I lay my head down and drift off to sleep, I feel so good, knowing he is looking at me and he is smiling.

You Can Have…All This World…Just Give Me Jesus….

...when you gotta go...

Oh, the joys of motherhood…

…as much as I try to avoid it, it almost never fails, we are in the middle of a store, and I have got to go… Johnny tells me I am worse than a kid, and I am beginning to think he is right. and just like a kid…when I gotta go, I gotta go, which usually means – I have to take my son with me. So, now that he is pretty vocal, as anyone that has a 4 year old knows, it is not a good experience…

Noah: Mom, I will wait out here
Me: No, you have to come in with me, I don’t want someone to take you
Noah: Are we in the girls restroom?
Me: No, this is the family restroom Noah (I have convinced him, for a while at least that the wheelchair symbol on the door means ‘family’ restroom)
Noah: then how come there are only girls in here
Me: because they are the only ones that need to go to the restroom right now…stop playing with the lock – do NOT open that door (I have already been exposed, thanks to my son, at the McDonalds playground, Ryans and the Laundreymat)
Noah: I’m not… are you pooping?
Me: be quite Noah
Noah: you are pooping mom, it stinks
I flush the toilet and give him a dirty look
Noah: DON’T FLUSH IT, it’s too loud
Me: be quite Noah
Noah: Does your stomach hurt
Me: can you just be quite
Noah: Remember, don’t push…
Of course he remembers everything I tell him at the WRONG time…I hear laughing from the sink area
Me: Hush Noah
Noah: Your always pooping Mommy, don’t fart…
Sometimes… I really hate my life….

Just when you think....

A few months ago my husband was offered the opportunity to be the Director of a new clinic that was going to open here in Seguin. He had been trying the home health and was enjoying it but with one downfall, some weeks were good, some weeks slow…the flexibility was great, it was the stability that was taking getting used to. So when this offer came in, it was a chance to try to build something from the ground up and I was excited for him to have the opportunity (not to mention a guaranteed income). He was excited, I was excited for him…and so the journey for him started, he went outside his comfort zone and did Marketing, luncheons, contracted therapists and still continued to do patient care…he was the whole enchilada, director, therapist, marketing, office manager and scheduler. Every time a new doctor sent him a patient we got excited and things were slowly but surely picking up, but…this big city company didn’t expect to have such a challenge getting patients, they were used to the fast paced Houston market and Johnny told them from the get go the challenges they would be facing…yesterday they decided it was a little more than they wanted to deal with and have decided to pull out of Seguin. I am so proud of my husband for all the hard work he did trying to get this clinic off the ground, he tackled all the new challenges and was awesome, I can’t help but feel bad that the numbers they were expecting weren’t going to happen as quickly as they had wanted, but I know for a fact that Johnny gave it his all and for that, I am so very proud of him… He took a chance on something and I wish that I could be that brave but I know I couldn’t be. I also know that all the experience he has gained is going to lead him to bigger and better things. Noah and I tell him all the time what a great guy he is and how lucky we are to have him… I don’t know where this next road is taking our family, but I feel sure that wherever it is, as long as we are together…it’s all good.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

JESUS I TRUST IN YOU….

What did I do...

...to deserve the week I had!

You know, there are companies that can go 10 years or have never even had a DOT audit, this last week I had my second one in 2 years... and I know this doesnt mean anything to a lot of people, so let me just tell you this... imagine giving birth and having a root canal at the same time, I would have rather gone through that... enough said.

I have honestly not seen my family much in the last week, i have been at work before they wake up and gotten home in time to take my shower and go to bed... tired is an understatement... And then I am in a training class all next week... this is what i get for missing church two Sundays in a row... I will be sitting on the front row this Sunday.

God Bless and Good night...

A little more...

Did I mention we have a new addition to our family? His name is Crabby the Crab, yes, my son HAD to have a hermit crab when we went down to the coast. Thanks a lot to Cathy for letting her boys bring theirs to the Teen meeting on Tuesday, just what I needed, one more thing to do… We bought him a little condo that is so cute with an orange lid and filled it with purple rocks, he FREAKS me out though when he comes out of his shell… which, he hasn’t in a couple of days so please keep Crabby in your prayers. I left a piece of lettuce just outside his little hut he has been in to try to entice him to come out…. I just know he is waiting for me to try to pull him out so he can pinch me… Ya, the place we bought him from gave me a sheet of paper about their care, I read it and it stressed me out, okay, first…none of us want to touch him, so you KNOW who is going to get stuck doing it…ugh! second, um…hello…I can never keep caught up with laundrey and now we have a crab, two fish and a dog…it’s bad enough I have to find a dog sitter everytime we go out of town, now who is going to watch this stinkin crab that has to have ‘fresh distilled water’ and ‘don’t leave food more than a day’ in his cage…did I mention he has to be bathed too? give me a break, I have to bathe myself and my son isn’t that enough? I really need to add GINO to that list because that dog stinks…but I keep saying I didn’t want a dog but obviously the boys know the smell gets to me and they have no problem ignoring it…not to mention he is way overdue for a nail trimming and vet visit. You see what I mean, how everything seems to come back to me?! my husband will read this and roll his eyes, but, whatever…he knows it does because I take care of my boys AND their toys… dammit… I still need to get both of my boys in to finish up their dental work and now I am stressed about this crab…

An update on my Mom is long overdue, she is doing great, living with Kasey and all her animals and she seems really happy. I am surprised that the animals don’t bother her, I was worried that they would because I am totally NOT a pet person but those are Rina’s kids…and I mean she makes the Brady Bunch look like a small family…she has 4 dogs and at least 6 cats and I am probably way off on that count… But mom has not complained about them once, I am sure they are good company, Noah loves them and I know Mom is safe because you get anywhere near the house and those dogs go crazy. It is so funny because every dog we had growing up my mom called snoopy and cats, she used to throw them across the yard when they crossed her path… Things sure change, because let me tell you, My mom will get on the floor to play with my son and I don’t remember her even watching TV with us when we were little!

I a good note, I actually got up and worked out this morning, yes…I know…everyone is passing out in shock. I have had every intention of getting up when my husband leaves to take Jeremy to work in the morning and doing that walking workout on Exercise on Demand but I just can’t get out of bed! So this morning I made myself get up, pulled on my tennis shoes and walked out there and guess what, the Exercise on Demand channel was having an “error” this to me was a sign to go back to sleep…but I didn’t… I put it on one of the music channels and did my own version of walk away the pounds for 35 minutes. I am sore and feel it already, how sad is that? I have gotten so dang lazy when it comes to exercise. Why why why can’t we invent calorie free food…that is good! It’s okay … I am losing these rolls if it kills me, and it just might!

Oh and this summer was my 20 year High School Reunion, which I did not go to because they had it Fourth of July weekend…which I think was a bad choice because …hello, this is Texas, do you know you can cook meat on the sidewalk right now! and second, I can go to the Oak whenever, I just didn’t feel like listening to people trying to tell me how great their lives are..Facebook is annoying enough! Okay, actually me and Christina get a kick out of laughing our asses off at those annoying posts…GAG… please, I think it is really sad when you have to keep saying your life is good rather than just living it… okay, I have a little PMS, but it is really dumb and sometimes I wonder if people actually sit there giving so much energy to pick the right words just because they want everyone to read it…are they trying to convince the world or themselves? On that note, I did do some reflecting on where my life was at this 20 year mark, and I tried to remember, what did I say I wanted to be, and I didn’t have these glamourous hopes to become a star, all I ever wanted was to be was married and have a family…and love taking care of them and it feels really good to know I have that, and a good life…and I know it…

Count your blessings and stay blessed and most importantly remember…even though your house is a wreck and gray hairs are starting to pop up everywhere, a little hair dye and a drop off laundry service will get you back on track in no time… LIFE IS GOOD, LIVE IT!

I didn't forget!

I know it has been way to long since my last entry… so much has gone on… We went to the beach this past weekend and it was wonderful, we had the best time, most relaxing weekend ever. My family really needed that, we have been going so much lately, it was so nice to not have to worry about meetings or schedules. I still have to get my Noah signed up for swimming lessons this summer, I will probably send him next month… He is growing so darn fast, I love that boy so much, more and more everyday. He is going to start 4K next month, I can’t believe it. I was all ready to work with him this summer, I had been stocking up on workbooks to keep his skills up… of course, we did it one evening and they are still in a stack on the kitchen counter…sigh

My house got a good cleaning the Friday before the 4th of July, I busted some serious butt cleaning places that, when I think back, gives me chills thinking how dirty they were… The parade was nice, the whole holiday was nice, just relaxing with family and friends and watching the kiddos in the pool… yes, the Sauceda Water park 2009 was up and running…for that day at least… now, the pool…has officially died…yup, grass grew through the bottom of it and now it is capoot… sad sad, very sad…and we even bought the liner to put it on that was supposed to prevent that…. I never knew that could happen… oh well, it has been so hot here the pool felt like a sauna anyway…jeez!

I have so much vacation time at work I am going to start taking some afternoons off so me and my baby can go get into trouble…. He is doing the summer program at school but he is only going half days so I can pick him up at lunch and take him to do stuff. They take him on field trips every Wednesday so I am happy he gets to do that, but of course I stress out on Wednesdays and have forced Jay to go with him almost every time, TJ is going with him next week, God help ZDT’s I am sure him and Noah will have a blast.

I have bags to unpack still in the den, restrooms that are just on the verge of “yuck” and dishes in the sink so I am pretty sure I will be trying to tackle that tonight, why lie, I have been trying everynight but once I get home…no such luck…I have been so stinkin tired…

Well, believe it or not I have NOT fallen of the WW wagon, Chrystal my friend and co-worker are still going..11 weeks, that has GOT to be a record, 27.6 lbs gone, but can you see it…nope, when you have as much butt as I do I guess it takes a little longer to show J Although I did wear a pair of shorts on the 4th that had been in my closet with the tags on for TWO summers and they didn’t fit… so, yippee for that!

I will sign off for now but will get better at posting.

Please pray for our world, it’s leaders, our economy and families. Never stop praying, and most importantly, continue to leave your worries at Jesus’ feet where they belong.

Peace

I'm here!!!

Okay, it is Tuesday, but it feels like another Monday…

First, I would like to wish Happy Mother’s Day to all the beautiful women out there. Even if you don’t have kids, everyone has been ‘Mothering’ someone at some point in their lives. Taking care of someone, being there for them, listening and praying for them. So I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother’s Day!

Last night I took Noah with me to Wal-mart, one of the things I HATE to do most because my son makes me miserable at the store (ya ya, I know, Happy Mother’s Day). Johnny gets mad because I have a hard time telling him no, and I am working on it. Honestly, I don’t think it is just about not being able to tell him no, I think that usually when we go to the store, by the time I get there I just don’t have any fight left in me. It is almost always at the end of the day, when I haven’t even been home to change from work clothes, and I already have a car full of stuff to unload and Johnny is at a meeting til whenever and I know that Noah still has to take his bath (which is a whole other battle) and my house is a wreck and I have 5 other things that HAVE to be done before tomorrow on top of everything I am taking more stuff home to unload to the car and I need to make sure I get everything I need on this trip so that hopefully I won’t have to come back to the store again this week and what am I making for supper the rest of the week and do I have everything I need at home to cook it and what do we have going on this week that I might need to get something we need for which would involve yet ANOTHER trip to the store and is it my week for snacks at school or for Noah’s tball game or practice and where the heck is his team shirt, I haven’t seen it and his game is Thursday and crap he needs black shorts which don’t really match his chocolate and yellow team shirt but who am I to question the team uniform …. and OMG I need to call that lady back about volunteering for teacher appreciation week (mental note to check with the school office to make sure I have all my ‘credits’ for volunteering) and I really should get a gift for Noah’s teachers ….have I pre-registered him for the summer session? Did I pay his pre-registration for next year? when is the field trip and how much do I need to send (mental note to get Noah’s stuff to pack his lunch)… see what I mean… and you want me to have to explain to a 4 year old that he can’t get something every time we go to the store on top of all this?!

To add to the stress of having to go to the store, one of my girlfriends at work told me at lunch today that her mother-in-law got held up at gunpoint in downtown, ummm, hello, aren’t we practically Mayberry, things like that don’t happen here! So now my new stress is that I have to get us in the car quickly before someone comes up to us and tries to rob us! I know I know, I am not well but jeez, it already happened so…yes, I am the crazy person you see opening the hatchback to her car before she gets there (love those auto-openers) and screaming at my son to get ready to get in and lock the door. throwing my bags in the back and hurrying to get in the car and lock the door and not caring where the shopping cart is as long as it is not behind my car. So if you see me hooking it out the door at Wal-mart or HEB, stand clear!

On the diet front, I lost 5.6 lbs last week, which is amazing considering I felt like I didn’t give it my all. There were two positive changes I made which for me is a huge step. The first being, everyone grab a tissue…. I gave up my morning breakfast taco… I am not going to lie, I was in a terrible mood by Wednesday last week and then it hit me, I was in mourning…my heart, was breaking… I missed… my taco. Before you jump on the wagon I know I can still have it, I even calculated the points ( 11 points for a potato, bacon and cheese taco with two slices of bacon), but honestly, I just felt like I had to go cold turkey or taco! ha ha, okay, that was pretty funny…. and the other positive change, I got rid of my mid afternoon bad snack (vending machine) and changed it to a healthy snack (fruit or skinny cow cheese on a flatbread cracker)… and I have stuck to it. And I lost 5.6 lbs, and actually my taco…I am over it… I know I can still have one every once in a while but I am just not ready to use that many points at the beginning of the day and as long as I can have something salty..i’m good. So good thing I love cheese toast! These changes might seem small, but they are HUGE for me. And even though we had to drag Cathy to the meeting practically kicking and screaming, she lost 2 lbs. too!

Okay, even though I know I am going to totally regret putting this…it’s okay, it will hold me accountable. Some of my girlfriends and I are officially on the diet wagon together. But I will be the first to admit that if you dangle a piece of candy in front of us we will probably take it… The first week, is VERY hard. I feel good though because my co-worker and friend is doing it too… so we have a really good support system. Alright, we keep telling eachother, it’s okay, you can do it! Like when I told them that last night a piece of banana cream pie accidentally fell in my mouth. I was stressed, give me a break! And I could totally tell it was the good kind of pudding because I do a pie with the sugar free instant, and this pie wasn’t it! OMG it was good! Does it count if I was doing buttock pinches the whole time I was eating it? Okay I wasn’t but maybe I will keep that in mind for next time. I know if LeeAnn is reading this she is probably saying, that is so great Marla we can go walking. STOP LeeAnn, right there, DO NOT call me, I will not exercise with you, now Christina and Cathy…we can totally laugh at eachother… but my dear LeeAnn and my friend Alex (girl)…they totally believe that I could do Pilates or some other crazy yoga crap like that and I can totally see them trying to get me to do it with them and my body does not bend like that!! While I am at it, let me clear up one more misconception that people might have, don’t try to suggest healthy snacks for big girls so they won’t be hungry, big girls eat because they LIKE FOOD, not necessarily because they are hungry! Heck, I like cucumbers with lemon juice and pepper, and it’s healthy…. but I would rather have a pickle and buttered popcorn… you see where I am going here? I love the Weight Watchers cookies and cream bars, I just eat the whole box once I open it… HAHAHA anywho, so please feel free to leave encouraging notes with the comment button below… no recipes Lee Ann.. (you do know I have to pick on you). The first official weigh in of the BBG’s (Big Beautiful Girls) is next week, but the weekend is tomorrow so PRAY FOR US.

There is hope for you future, says the Lord – Jeremiah 31:17