As I sit here gazing out the window at my desk, I can hear the children laughing and playing in the school yard across the street. I love this sound, and the birds in the trees chirping away...
Life seems so calm, so good...
Even though it's peaceful, my heart feels unsettled, with so many things uncertain about what our days to come hold, T.J.'s battle has re-routed our life, we've taken a new route, everything is different here, unfamiliar... I just pray that we continue this journey with brave hearts, I know that God is here on the journey with us, walking beside us as we move forward...cautiously...
Last night wasn't a good night, T.J. is having a hard time, he's only 20, he should be carefree... but he's here, on this road, not by choice...
Life goes on seemingly unaffected by cancer, but it is because everything I do that seems normal, makes me realize that he misses normal...
He starts chemo on Monday, and his world will change again, he won't be able to be around anyone but a handful of us, he can't take the chance of catching anything, the chemo will destroy his immune system...
I am myself so scared, scared to carry germs, scared to send Noah to school and have him bring back germs... scared of the tiniest cold that could make T.J. so sick...
Worried, about the hours my sister has to put in at work to make sure she can work time in for T.J., of her trying to stay focused on his care and keep her mind straight at work.
Praying, not just for T.J., but for my other friends who are battling cancer or major illnesses, and I ask that you keep them in prayer along with T.J.... Lisa Moya, Linda Luna, and Rosa Torres. Pray, pray pray...that is all we can do and love, as hard as you can!
I am trying daily to lay my worries at the cross, and I pray for peace, because my mind races a million miles a minute grasping for something that I can do to change all this, this helpless feeling is awful... but I know that I have to trust in God, and I do...
No comments:
Post a Comment