Sitting

As I sit here gazing out the window at my desk, I can hear the children laughing and playing in the school yard across the street.  I love this sound, and the birds in the trees chirping away...

Life seems so calm, so good...

Even though it's peaceful, my heart feels unsettled, with so many things uncertain about what our days to come hold, T.J.'s battle has re-routed our life, we've taken a new route, everything is different here, unfamiliar...  I just pray that we continue this journey with brave hearts, I know that God is here on the journey with us, walking beside us as we move forward...cautiously...

Last night wasn't a good night, T.J. is having a hard time, he's only 20, he should be carefree...  but he's here, on this road, not by choice... 

Life goes on seemingly unaffected by cancer, but it is because everything I do that seems normal, makes me realize that he misses normal... 

He starts chemo on Monday, and his world will change again, he won't be able to be around anyone but a handful of us, he can't take the chance of catching anything, the chemo will destroy his immune system...

I am myself so scared, scared to carry germs, scared to send Noah to school and have him bring back germs... scared of the tiniest cold that could make T.J. so sick...

Worried, about the hours my sister has to put in at work to make sure she can work time in for T.J., of her trying to stay focused on his care and keep her mind straight at work.

Praying, not just for T.J., but for my other friends who are battling cancer or major illnesses, and I ask that you keep them in prayer along with T.J....  Lisa Moya, Linda Luna, and Rosa Torres. Pray, pray pray...that is all we can do and love, as hard as you can!

I am trying daily to lay my worries at the cross, and I pray for peace, because my mind races a million miles a minute grasping for something that I can do to change all this, this helpless feeling is awful...  but I know that I have to trust in God, and I do...

 

 

Cancer
is limited
~
It cannot
cripple love,
It cannot
shatter hope,
It cannot
corrode faith,
It cannot
eat away peace,
It cannot
destroy confidence,
It cannot
shut out memories
It cannot
silence courage,
It cannot
invade the soul,
It cannot
reduce eternal life,
It cannot
quench the spirit,
It cannot
lessen the power of the Resurrection.

The babies

 

I'm sure I have referred to the babies at several times in my blog life...  Jessica and TJ (my niece and nephew) have been the babies all their lives, because even as grown up as they are, they will always be our babies.  I was teaching a Sunday School class last week when I got a bunch of calls from Jay (jessica), She was on her way to the hospital, she was sure TJ had broken his leg, possibly his hip...  I went and got Noah out of class and called Johnny, picked up my sister and we headed to Austin.  He had indeed broken his leg, pretty badly, too badly for what he said he was doing, an inverted push up against the wall.  His break was something they see in a bad car wreck or something from a high fall.  It was right then that my heart sank, I remembered TJ complaining about his leg...  My worries were confirmed when after surgery they said they they found what they called a lesion, but couldn't say more until test results came back...  Which they did, and that moment has sent us down a different road, cancer, Ewings Sarchoma....  our hearts are heavy, the days have seemed like eternity until he meets the oncologist today and we find out how bad, what treatment, what to expect.  Prayers are needed, God is here, in this place that Cancer has taken us, and we are leaning on him...  please pray for our baby, that this new journey is just a bump in the road and we can beat this... 

The view

 

Noah enjoyed the view from TJ's hospital room....  Longhorn stadium

Retreat

 

Noah had a First Communion retreat, so proud of my little guy.  He is growing so fast, It was a wonderful retreat for the parents and the kids.

Rosary

I have recently been so caught up in the beauty of trees, how strong and durable they are, when we were looking for a rosary in the church office we found this broken rosary, and I absolutely love the cross...  I decided to fix it and make it beautiful again, isn't it wonderful...  love it.

Happy Valentines Day

 

I have fond memories of Valentine's day, with so many things going on in her life and so many kids my Mom was never really good at remembering birthdays or making them special or at doing little things for the holidays.  But, for some reason, Valentine's day was always special to her, so we could always expect a beautiful card from the Hallmark store with lots of goodies inside, this was a super nice treat for us because the Hallmark store was pretty pricey for our family growing up.

 

This has been a gift to me because I make a point to make the holidays, big or small, special for my little family.  I sent snacks for Noah's party, made him Valentine's bags to hand out and sent gifts for his teacher as well as a super cute Valentine's box for his Valentines.

 

And tonight my sweet boys will share a Valentine dinner with me and I can't think of a better way to spend my evening...  They are my true love's after all...

 

 

 

And the pinata broke

 

And the party finale...  his pinata

Party Time

 

Had a great party for my little Noah, We had beautiful weather the week before his party and OF COURSE on the day of his party, dreary and misty and drizzling all day...  This was the first time we had his party at the house and my sister rented two moon bounces for him, the kids had a blast anyway and all the parents were real troopers, it was a great day!

Sweet Cheeks!

 

Look who stopped by to visit Aunt Marla, my little sweetie Cassie who is now 7 months old, she loves her Aunt Marla!

Preparing....

We are getting ready, preparing for Lent, and I have so much on my heart to be grateful for.  This journey begins next week with Ash Wednesday, are you ready?

Look who's driving...

There are so many times when I question my decision to stay home, but I know deep down in my heart I am exactly where God meant me to be...  Monday morning and we are heading out the door to take Noah to school and of course, I have an appt., when I got in the car I noticed that the back door on the passenger side was open, and probably had been all night...  and sure enough, dead battery! 

 

You know, sometimes we forget how good we have it, take things for granted.  I know I do, and I lose patience, but I was pretty proud of myself because I didn't get upset, although I knew Noah expected me to be...  I just told him he didn't do it on purpose, it was an accident.  My tendency is to go into panic mode because my Mom would have...  but I'm not my Mom (I do love her and I only have 1, remember she had 7!) 

 

I think I felt worse about the fact that I had to go inside and wake up Johnny to come out and give us a jump, my husband, is quite a man. He didn't even get upset - he never gets to sleep late but today he did....  he just got up, got dressed and went outside, never got angry or seemed annoyed. I told him I was sorry and so did Noah, his response "you don't need to be sorry, that's what I'm here for". 

 

I cried all the way to take Noah to school, praising God for the blessing of this wonderful man.

 

Go Blazers!

 

My baby in action on the court...  Noah has gotten quite good at basketball.  I am so proud of my little man.  His cousin, who is a senior in high school this year, works for the after-school care program at Noah's school.  Brandon practices with Noah almost everyday and you can surely tell.  Noah says he's going pro, we shall see!

Hi Sunshine

It has been warm here in Texas, and I have to say it, Winter left us high and dry...  I have a new scarf I haven't even gotten to use, a beautiful lilac colored scarf hand-knitted just for me..

boo....  oh well, it has been lovely weather, today is gorgeous, although I do hope it stays this way for Noahs party on Saturday, we'll see...

This is my first time having his party at the house, and I'm not going to say I'm not nervous, because I am...  We'll see how it goes!

And the day was great...

 

Wrapping it up at home in the evening with his homemade banana cake, my first attempt at a 3 layer cake.  I will say it tasted wonderful, but it wasn't a very pretty sight...  It can only get better, right?  I always say, my cakes aren't always pretty but they are delicious!

 

Yummy

The birthday boy chose his favorite spot for dinner, enjoying Olive Garden with his Grandma and family and friends...  His big party is this weekend.  Prayers are welcome!

 

Happy Birthday to my sweet boy!

 

My little sugar turned 8 years old on Monday, I can't believe how fast time passes by, Makes my heart skip a beat..

 

Here he is on his birthday morning ready to go off to school, and the number 8 jersey was not intentional! 

 

Here's to all the joy you bring to our lives and many many more happy, love-filled, blessed years Noah Croix Sauceda!  Happy Birthday my love!