Okay, I have a ton of stuff I SHOULD be doing but I have been wanting to write something that has been on my heart and I just need to sit down and do it. I have been really having a hard time lately with the fact that I feel like I am not contributing to my family, financially that is... Especially because i keep hearing the 'must be nice to not work' comments over and over, but I know, I am working harder now than I ever have... I guess it has been difficult because I have always worked, I have never not worked and it was a HUGE leap of faith to decide to leave my job. So I was going through a bit of a feeling worthless slump... and I am struggling in my prayer life to move past that because I knew the minute I decided to do this that God had placed it on my heart, the doubt of the Devil has wreaked havoc on my confidence but I know I will get past it. Johnny keeps telling me that it is really no one else's business that I decided to stay home because we aren't relying on anyone else but God, I know that, and I do trust in him and somedays are still hard because I do get frustrated but I love my life... I just feel guilty I guess, for placing so much of the burden to care for our family on my husband. I heard a song on the radio the other day that really tugged at my heart strings and made me think so much of my husband whom I worry about so much. It is called Lead Me by Sanctus Real, google it, it is an awesome song. Nothing is guaranteed in life, jobs...health....happiness, but one thing I know for sure is that my son is learning every day by watching us, and we must lead eachother, make the right choices and show him the right way... We don't always make the right decisions, but I know that putting our family first has been one of the best ones of my life....
I gotta sign off for now, I have a St. Jude costume to finish for mass on Friday and treatbags and a haunted house to paint for our Halloween Carnival at school this weekend... Kindergarten is great...
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