pobrisita

I am seriously having a Monday…and it is actually painful… I just popped an Aleve, a Xanax and 4-B12’s so I can just muster up the energy to finish off this day. It was a tragedy from the get-go… I should have stayed in bed-SERIOUSLY…

You know, one thing I have had to deal with is the fact that although this blog is very therapeutic, I have to keep in mind, that I have opened up myself to people, the ones I know of I love dearly but really, anyone can read it and that is neat…but it does keep me in check and makes me hold back on details that might be a little much to share… SOMETIMES… but today is one of those days when I just need to let it all hang out and I am… SERIOUSLY

I am struggling to get back on the diet wagon… I am just frustrated and not feeling to good about myself and I know a lot of that has to do with feeling like I am losing control on that area of my life. The only person that can change that is me so I have to spank myself… I guess… but I have started walking at the track and I am really enjoying that… SOMETIMES

which leads me to this story…

Yesterday at church my son kept poking at me under my arm… I looked at him and he was smiling…but he kept on…I was kneeling and trying to pray… and he kept on when it hit me, he was playing with my fat! Just about the time I realized that, I glance at him and he looks at his arm, then goes back to flicking my fat with his finger… SERIOUSLY and when I tell him to stop and he doesn’t, because he doesn’t listen to me (which will lead to another story) I have to tell Johnny to tell him to stop because even though I know I can take my shoe off and throw it at him I think he has already caught the attention of the family sitting behind us and that would definitely attract more attention. So…now that I am totally NOT in the right frame of mind to pray I sit back down and look at him, he smiles…and flicks my chicken wing one more time – since daddy isn’t looking… so being the grown-up that I am, I reach over and pinch his stomach roll and smile back… SERIOUSLY

So, after church me and my fellow BG’s proceed to the nearest buffet to take out our frustrations on – and we beat the crap out of that buffet… can’t you just see us standing there telling it ‘who’s your momma’ we spent more on tokens than we did on food to get just a little bit of girl time… but we felt bad, and felt regret after we saw all the plates of food that we demolished… AND we decided to hit the track!

So…we all went home to change and meet at the track for some activity points – I am pretty sure we would have had to walk a couple of days straight to work off what we ate… when we got there, my son who won’t listen to me decides to throw the fit of all times because he wanted me to sit there and watch him play on the bleachers… did he NOT realize that he was one of the reasons I was determined to walk! so after crying, kicking, screaming and whining (him not me) I decided to drag him home and put him to bed to show him I was in charge and he would listen – so I only got one stressful lap in… and made him go to bed and of course I had to stay there with him and fell into a coma myself… UGH

So the guilt of not cleaning my house and taking a nap with all that food still working it’s way to my hips was weighing on me (no pun intended), when I wake up to hear shuffling in the kitchen, I could have sworn not even 5 minutes ago it was snoring. My husband is cleaning the cabinet out above the stove and has all the contents all over the place and tells me how gross it is. Only another woman can understand the hidden message we get… while you were sleeping instead of cleaning I had to get up and do something to this filthy house. Um, could you have proved your point in the restroom, where people actually SEE. I guess the foil was crying out for help and the lunch sacks just couldn’t bare another minute of suffering… SERIOUSLY….

So, if you enjoyed this little rant…smile…because you must be a woman! Every man reading this is rolling his eyes… and everyone woman is thinking ‘I hear you girl, I feel your pain’

Don’t get me started on today….

Serenity…Peace…Joy…NOW please