Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Blue...

“If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also.”
John 14:3

My heart is so heavy because my Mom is sad today. I just got a call from the nursing home, Mom asked her therapist to call me, her therapist said she was very sad and she had gone to get her for therapy and found her in her room crying. A nursing home is a sad place when you first come in, all these people who for the most part at some point in their lives led normal lives. They had jobs, they had friends and they went out to lunch and just lived their lives just like we do. Now they are confined to this place that is their home, gone is the furniture that they furnished their houses with, they don’t have their kitchen to walk to and grab a cup of coffee, they don’t check their mail and they can’t lay on the couch and have a movie night, at least not the way they used to.

I was visiting Mom on Monday and she was trying to get up from her bed and I said “Mom, where are you going?”…her reply…”I am going to the kitchen to get something for Noah to snack on…” broke my heart a million times…

I know it doesn’t have to be sad, and I have actually made a lot of ‘friends’ at the nursing home and enjoy kidding with the staff, but knowing that I can’t go to my mom’s house is so hard… and this is all so fresh that it will take time to mourn our old way of living and embrace this new chapter but I know with God’s love and reassurance it will happen.

Today it is rainy and cloudy outside and that is how I feel in my heart, but I know we will get through this and I know life will go on, different than before…but good.

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