Normal

What is normal anymore?

Normal is sleeping through the night and NOT being woken up because you have to go rescue the nursing home people from your angry mother…

Normal is not having to look at your calendar and see the week ahead and get instantly tired just knowing that aside from all the obligations appointments things coming, you will not have a restful night because your phone will surely ring with the latest ‘episode’ needing your attention.

Normal is not laying awake at night because you are so tired you can’t sleep and worry is your new best friend.

Normal is not getting a sick feeling in your stomach everytime the phone rings and actually hating your cell phone but knowing that it is your new partner.

Normal is not praying and promising and pleading for God to help your Mother behave herself and not be mean to her caregivers.

Normal is not being scared to take care of your Mom.

Normal is not having to force yourself to go to the nursing home because you are scared of what you will find, and scared of what might happen when you leave…

Normal is not having to bribe your son to go visit your Mom because it makes her day and even though you know you shouldn’t, you do it because it means that much to her…. and normal is not praying that he will give her a hug so that just for a second, she can remember what it was like to be HIS caregiver.

Normal is not trying to dodge the nurses in fear that they might have a complaint or something bad to tell you.

Normal is not having to see the once strong, independent and active Mom you had this time last year sitting in a wheel chair, unable to feed herself and not able to do just the basic things in life… even ask you how your day was…

Normal is not missing your mom so much your whole body hurts… and she is sitting right next to you…