It is not like I was really trying to keep it a secret, but I guess more of the fact that I wanted a quiet exit, didn’t really want to have to talk about it much… and of course I really hate having attention on me. (I am serious!) You kinda forget who is related to who when you tell them about plans to stay home until one of their relatives comes up to you at work to ask the question of the day “is it true”…. Yes it is! LOL, I guess the cat never really was in the bag because it is gonna happen and really not a secret that I am going to quit work. I think I was more concerned about questions, why… or why now… and not when Noah was born… Well, we are at a different place now, Johnny has a good job with a company he likes and that was so important to me, nothing worse than not liking going to work. And to be quite honest, he is able to support us and why not? We won’t have any car payments (and never will again if I can help it) and our major expense will be keeping Noah in private school but THAT is a priority to us and why I want to be able to help at his school while I can, I don’t know that you have the option at public schools that you do at private ones… I LOVE that I can be in my sons classroom helping him learn, and being a part of that, I love that at St. James community service is a part of their curriculum and I can serve along side my son. He was lucky enough to have his Grandma’s watching him when he was a baby and now I feel very strongly that it is my turn to help guide him through his school years. My Mom and Momo are also at a place and time in their lives where they need me too. I can’t tell you how nice it is going to be to not have to take vacation days when they have appointments, to not tell them they have to get the last appt. in the day so that I can just leave early, to not have to go straight from work to take them to run errands, to the store, do things they can’t get to do then finally make it home to do what I need to do only to turn around and put my son to bed without spending time with him. That is my life, all the time, and I am so happy that we are going to be able to change that and YES, I know I am leaving a good job and will likely never make the money here in Seguin that I make now, but if there is anything I have learned through all of this it is that money is not everything. Don’t get me wrong, until a few weeks ago I was still waking up in a panic in the middle of the night worried that I was making the wrong decision, worried that I was giving up my independence, worried worried worried… But something just clicked last week, seriously… and I started talking to God (who by the way is the only person I should have been talking to) and I gave it all to him, because when I decided to do this, and my husband told me “Do It”… never once did I feel it was the wrong thing, I knew at that moment that this was the road God had been leading me to for a very long time and I completely felt his hand on my shoulder and I could see the smile on his face. But the devil knows my weaknesses, and he started wreaking havoc on my self confidence and I let him… I let fear consume me, doubt overtake me and complete panic fill me… I was weak, I was human… and my heavenly Father stood by me and watched it all but I would not let him console me, I would not let hope fill me, I didn’t accept the peace that he was trying to give me… So being the great God that he is, he improvised, you wanna listen to other people huh? Then I will talk through them. And he did, and reminded me of what was important, and now the joy is back, and I know we are back on track again. I hear my son laugh and I know that my days will be filled with it, I am going to miss my friends at work, but I look forward to adding more friends and my new lunch buddies, many of whom will be under 4 ft… LOL, I am excited that instead of rushing to work on Fridays I get to go to mass with my son. I can pack my husbands lunches and not throw things in a bag because I am in a hurry… and I will do the most important job that I will ever have, I will take care of my boys… the way they deserve to be taken care of. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I am sure my laundrey will still pile up and my house will always have something that needs to be done but that is a part of everyday life, of course I have to get my husband to stop saying how nice it will be to drive up to a freshly mowed lawn.. uhhh… no
I have been praying a lot and reading more about ways to save and cut back… I have been trying very diligently to focus on cutting back on spending, yup… the dollar stores will likely post a loss the next few months thanks to that… LOL and watching the family spending in general. Noah is taking a break from the Summer program at St. James and I decided to use that money and send him to different camps or take him to do things. He is enjoying hanging with his Momo and he starts ‘real’ school in August and he is really excited about the whole no nap thing. Man, am I going to remind him about that when he is a teenager and wishes he had nap times back! We are learning to live on Johnny’s income already, and so far, so good… of course both cars broke down this month, lovely… and our pool that we purchased for the house has turned into a money pit… but we are making it through. We are definitely taking advantage of all the budget friendly stuff for Noah, he joined the summer reading program at the library and he gets to hang out with his Aunt Kasey once a week and that is part of their day, they have all sorts of things scheduled for the kids AND Noah has already read 25 books! This week he is at Vacation Bible School for a whopping $10 he gets to do all sorts of fun activities and a great breakfast fixed by all those awesome Catholic ladies… it smelled so good when I dropped him off this morning, tomorrow is his last day of VBS and I am going tomorrow to sign him up for swimming lessons next week… $35 with the city pool versus $65 at the college and the big plus is that the city has classes in the morning and the college had theirs in the afternoon and it was so stinking hot I hated taking him…. so he will get two take two sessions of lessons versus the one session for just about the same price! I have been cooking a lot more at home which is better for us anyway… and let me tell you I have really been trying to pay more attention to what we buy versus what we need, I have even been making sweets that taste great and my boys love and that I have all the stuff to make rather than buying the store bought. No, don’t worry, I am not turning into Mary Ingalls Wilder, this girl won’t be churning her own butter LOL but I do know now how much money I was throwing away on quick fixes because it was more of a time rather than money issue with me…. Next month I am going to track my grocery money spending to see what is going out, we’ll see how that goes. Life is good… and will only keep getting better… chow baby!
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