To Love Anyway

This post was taken from Focus on the Family website.

On Valentine's Day, Meg* went all out, giving her husband, Peter,* his favorite candy and tickets to a hockey game. Later that night, she wrapped herself in a special outfit purchased just for the occasion.
Peter got her a card.
At the grocery store.
That he purchased on the way home from work.
He didn't add anything to it, either. He just signed it, "Peter."
A couple of days later, Meg tried to explain that she felt a little taken for granted. Apparently, Peter misunderstood her intent because two months later, when they celebrated their anniversary, Peter didn't get Meg anything.
"How could you not get me anything for our anniversary?" she asked Peter the next day. "Especially after our conversation about Valentine's Day."
"Well, I thought about getting you something, but it didn't work out," he replied. "And then I knew not to get you a card because you said you didn't like that last time."
"It's not that I didn't like the card. It's that the card alone seemed a little sparse. But even that is better than nothing ..."
Several months later, Meg had a birthday. This time, Peter got her a present – a kitchen tool set. Several weeks before, Meg had asked to borrow Peter's tape measure and screwdriver. Peter figured that Meg should have her own small set of kitchen tools so she didn't have to borrow his.
Meg recounted all this and then explained how she had tried to get her husband to read several how-to books on loving your spouse. He would read the first few pages, lose interest and never pick the book up again.
"I've realized this is never going to change," she confessed. "But I love him anyway."
Because ...
That last statement of Meg's, "but I love him anyway," is one of the most profound theological statements on marriage I've ever heard. Most of us base love on because, not on anyway. I love you because you're good to me. I love you because you're kind, because you're considerate, because you keep the romance alive.
But in Luke 6:32-36, Jesus says we shouldn't love because. We should love anyway. If we love someone because that person is good to us, or gives back to us, or is kind to us, we're acting no better than anyone else. In essence, Jesus is saying you don't need the Holy Spirit to love a man who remembers every anniversary – not just the anniversary of your marriage, but the anniversary of your first date and your first kiss. Any woman could love a man like that. Or if you love a wife who lavishes you with sports gifts, who goes out of her way to make you comfortable when you get home from work and who wants sex anytime you do – well, you're doing what any man would do. There's no special credit in that!
But if you love a spouse who disappoints you, who can be a little self-absorbed – now you're loving anyway. In doing that, you're following the model of the heavenly Father, who loves the ungrateful and the wicked.
... Or Anyway
Will you love only because? Or are you willing to love anyway? Will you love a man or woman who doesn't appreciate your sacrifice? Will you love a husband or wife who takes you for granted? Will you love a spouse who isn't nearly as kind to you as you are to him or her?
Just about every faithless marriage is based on because love. Christians are called to anyway love. That's what makes us different. That's what gives glory to God. That's what helps us appreciate God's love for us, because God loves us anyway. He gives and gives and gives – and we take Him for granted. He is eager to meet with us, and we get too busy to notice Him. He is good to us, and we accuse Him mercilessly when something doesn't go just the way we planned it.
But God loves us anyway. To love anyway is to love like God – and to learn about God's love for us.
That's love, the way God intended it.

Wow...
I love my husband, with all my heart… and when I read this it really was a ‘wow’ moment… My friend Alice is one of my angels I turn to all the time with questions, dilemmas… you know, those ‘what would Jesus do’ type advisors who helps me to see things in a different light. I absolutely adore her… She has worked in marriage ministry and is always willing to share words of wisdom, one of those little gems is that Love is a decision, it is not just a feeling… in marriage you will fall in and out of love, some days you may not like each other and there may be moments and months when you wonder where you are… but each day you decide to LOVE each other because feelings come and go… so if you think love is a feeling, you will think that when you don’t have that, there is no love… and that is not true. Marriage truly is a vocation, and on the day you commit yourselves to each other you have decided to make love Your decision. Hard or easy, good or bad… whether you agree or not. My husband and I were best of friends when we decided to get married, and you would have thought the transition to a married couple would have been smooth and our path would be easy, but that is not the case. I spent many nights crying while he slept because I felt like I had lost my best friend, the obstacles we faced in our marriage were just as hard, if not harder than a couple that didn’t have that friendship to fall back on, mostly because when I needed my best friends shoulder to cry on, he was the last one I wanted to be around! Were the problems huge? Well that depended on who you asked, the ones that were huge to me were small and insignificant to him. In my mind we were headed for divorce court because he didn’t have any love for me, and in reality, I had built up the problem so much in my head that when I finally broke down and wanted to talk to him, he wasn’t even aware of me being upset or bothered. Men are different creatures, and miscommunication has got to be the leading cause of divorce, I see that now, but I can honestly say I still fall in the trap of deception the devil weaves to make me feel insecure and that the end is near. In marriage there is no end, that is why the wedding bands are circles to symbolize that there is a bond, a commitment… to never give up and continue. I believe in the sacrament of marriage and I hold on to the promises we made before God and our families to stand together as one. I look into the eyes of my child and see the love we have for each other and the hope we have for our future. It won’t always be easy, but it is constant, it will always be there and just like anything in life, it requires work and our promise to keep walking together and hold on to the truth that God’s blessings and hope is in us as well.